I've only ever wanted one, that's what I've said since the day I knew women could have babies and as many as they want. I don't know why though, I mean, I love babies, I always have. When I was 2, the only way they could calm me down at daycare when my mom dropped me off in the morning was to take me into the infant room. I worked in daycare, on and off for 10 years, helping to manage 10 infants or 15 toddlers, even when I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to get it over with and said, never again. So why after 30 years I've changed my mind? I guess it has to do with having the most amazing kid ever, not just that, but also Bill. As much as I talk shite about the guy he's an awesome dad, I love watching him interact with his kids, he wasn't like that right at the beginning but, now that the kids can play he's awesome, it's OK, I liked being in charge of the newborn stage, doing things my way. I think I changed my mind when Aidan was only 3 or 4 months old, my PPD (post partum depression) was being managed and I realized what an awesome and rewarding job being a mom is. I also regretted not enjoying my pregnancy. I really had no reason to complain, other than my hormones made me pretty weepy. I only gained 18lbs, lost it all plus 8 by a few weeks post partum, my labour was 8 hours but looking back wasn't that bad, so I want to do it again and enjoy it, watch my belly move again, feel my baby kick me in the bladder and the diaphragm at the same time, try to jam my swollen cankles (calf ankles) into a pair of 3 inch stilettos because I'm too stubborn to buy mom flats. I want the chance to do a drug free labour (unless it's in my back again) and I want to hold my newborn baby again. Now if I can only convince Bill.
g'night
Allie
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